Third Trimester

3 years ago around this time I was in a very new place spiritually, mentally and emotionally. My sister, best friend and I had heard the lord so clearly about leaving our hometown and moving a couple hours away. I can remember praying and crying together a lot before making that transition. I can remember sleepless nights and praying by myself quite often because I was comfortable yet uncomfortable! This was my home, the only house of stability I'd really known since I was 5. The house I grew up in literally, I'd never been on my own and had been sheltered in the sense that I didn't struggle a lot financially... I remember asking God is this you? Like why would I leave everything and everyone that I know? He didn't give me a direct answer but over time I realized that it was to grow closer to him.

I didn't know anything outside of my church, my friends, my family and in ways that was hindering me. My "comfort" was stunting my growth and I wasn't maturing the way God wanted me to. Why would I have had a reason to? The day we moved it was us, my mom and uncle who made the trip here and I just remember crying dramatically in my grandmothers lap because I was so scared. No job, no promise of a job, no place to live just faith and prayers. I can remember balling up into a fetal position on the bathroom floor of the Comfort Inn we were staying in and weeping silently as to not wake my sisters. Little did I know we took turns in that bathroom, in a new city where yes my mom was but the comfort of our "circle" was two hours away.

Through each season he carried us and we have faced some rough seasons! Seasons that would cause most to run back to their comfort zone and I've been tempted but God consistently lets me know that I can't turn around. Last year alone almost caused me to crawl back home, in and out of work for 11 months, just a very emotionally draining season of life. When I first agreed to move here it was never meant to be forever. I'd spent the summer with my cousin in VA Beach the previous year and I just knew I wanted to leave Indiana when I came home. Atlanta became my focus, the purity ministry I'm a part of is based out of there and the church that I love is there so I really had my heart set on moving to ATL. It had to be around October of last year when the lord started really speaking to me about the next phase and transition. I'm like God is it time for Atlanta? He's like no... He starts placing Charlotte, North Carolina on my heart. I'm a very big supporter of Elevation Church, a ministry that has poured greatly into my life and many of my family members and friends over the past couple years. I literally don't miss a sermon via podcast or YouTube weekly! For awhile I was in between church homes so I'd send my tithes there because it was where I was being fed even if was via tv or Internet. I love Pastor Steven Furtick and the ministry alone has inspired me to go deeper into the word and harder for the lord. But I'm also very fond of The Gathering Oasis in Atlanta and I said to God I just want to serve you lord! Send me where you need me to go lord! Well I prayed and fasted...

Last month I decided that Charlotte will be my next destination, where I lay down roots, maybe meet my future husband and raise a family. Charlotte is where my new life will begin and my sisters biggest concern for me is that people will talk me out of it so at first she's like don't tell anyone because they'll simply try and give you all the negative reasons that you shouldn't. Like no car lol... Isn't that what Ubers, taxis and buses are for? Isn't home just a plane ride away? I hate driving, I don't drive. My brother is going to force me soon to get behind that wheel again but haven't crossed that road. I don't mind public transportation and I have met some of the most fascinating people! I'm a writer so I'm intrigued by people watching. The things that seem to bother others about my move are the things I'm least worried about... The things I worry about most would be this sentimental heart who's big on family and friends. I go home once a month just to see my people and I'm only 2 hours away. 9 hours away by car, an hour from Indy, hour and 30 flight wise from Fort Wayne will be so very different. I'm nervous yet at peace because I trust God. I'm casting down fear because it's not of him, so sending it back to hell because I refuse to be tormented. We are 12 days into the new year, it is going to be 3 years since we moved here in June. I have looked at each year here as a trimester so this would be our third trimester. We all know what happens in terms of birth in the third trimester! It's been a ride and now God is about to do something CRAZY new and awesome!!! Keep reading, I got more.- CDJ