Surrender

This journey that I'm on requires substantial amounts of time talking, praying and even crying out to God on a daily basis. This new road, this new place that he has me in causes me to constantly seek his counsel and face about how to handle life. If I can be completely honest about this new journey I have to say that I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing but I'm obeying him and I know that his plans won't lead me down a path of destruction. I spent a lot of time doing my own thing, fixing things and figuring out how to function only to find myself flat on my face. 

I realized that I'd made a mess which led me to cry out to God as if he just had to fix a mess that I made. I've made some messes in life be it financially, emotionally or spiritually. I've had moments where I was completely self led. I recently wrote a book called Inner Selfie and I went into great detail about my life. There were many things that I'd never shared with anyone so I was hesitant but God said write the book. Yesterday was my release day and I found myself very frustrated with minor details, typos and formatting. I stopped to realize that I hadn't gotten my daily fill up of Jesus! I was so busy promoting what he told me to write but I neglected the real author! I felt sick after realizing this so I just sat down and talked with him, prayed and repented for putting other things first. 

I love the Holy Spirit because it's definitely a comforter but it's also a guide. You know how you set reminders on your TV, phone and other devices? Well Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to remind us of some things! When I don't spend time there's that empty feeling in my heart like something is missing. When I don't spend quality time with the lord I feel lost, emotional and drained so I'm reminded daily to spend those moments with him. I'm short with people, my attitude isn't right and I have very little patience when that time is not put in because I'm technically running on "E." Whenever I feel empty I think of this scripture: 

Whenever I feel as if I'm failing or not good enough I'm reminded of that scripture. I believe that it is time to start trusting in him and not trusting in our own abilities. I'm awful at doing life without God! I'm awful at making plans, sticking to them or fulfilling the obligations that go with those plans. Aren't you tired yet? He's waiting for total surrender! Like literally give everything to him now and go to bed knowing that if given the chance to see tomorrow it will be better. Tomorrow definitely isn't promised so why are you stressing about it? 

️CDJ ❤️