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I had a goal in mind... Didn't work out as planned.

I had my life planned out... Didn't work out as planned.

I thought I knew the next step... Didn't work out as planned.

You ever question your very existence? I feel like I've been here before, like I'm stuck on this mountain going in circles.

I feel like I've been fighting, crawling to stay afloat for awhile now. I'm tired... Tired of wondering what I did wrong.

I know God isn't punishing me... I've been faithful for quite some time. 

I know that God isn't withholding good things from me, he knows what he's doing.

I know that God hasn't forsaken me because I can feel him and he's still here.

Darkness won't overtake me, not this time! There's an entire empty book in front of me and I've closed the last one filled with rejection. 

I closed the last book filled with lies that the enemy planted, I closed the last book filled with insecurities. 

I stopped caring about what people thought a long time ago but now I'm left with myself...

I'm critical of ME, I'm hard on ME because I know what I'm capable of and nothing is making sense.

I know that I'm smart, my resume doesn't define me but I look darn good on paper... Yet doors keep closing.

My skills and talents don't define me but I look darn good on paper... Yet doors keep slamming.

I feel like a little girl sitting by the edge of the ocean with my heart in my hand staring out at a completely blank page.- CDJ ❤️