26 Taught Me...

This was last years blog about turning 27. I love to look back and see what a difference a year makes. ❤️

Monday, May 26, 2014

26 Taught Me...

Those who know me know that I am obsessed with birthdays LOL! Especially my own and it may seem childish but let me explain and share something I've never shared... I spent many years depressed, lonely, bitter and angry. On my 25th birthday I saw the ocean for the first time... I silently made a promise to God and myself that I would live every birthday from then on out to the fullest. I promised myself that I would never let another birthday come and go without experiencing something new (even if it was simply trying a new food) I got excited about life! In 8 days I turn 27 and it may not seem important to anyone else or even special but to me it's everything! 27 years I've been here and I've been through hell and back... 27 and I fought to get to this place, I crawled, I stumbled and I literally have seen the hand of God MOVE. In life I have learned to get excited even when nobody else around me is excited, I'm learning to be happy even if nobody else is happy and learning that nobody else should have to entertain or uplift me. 27 seems like an odd, boring number but to me it's a reminder of a prayer I prayed years ago to God... Before he and I even had a consistent relationship I still had conversations with God. I remember vividly and in great detail the conversation I had with him while sitting on my bedroom floor. I was 23 and up until that point I never wanted to be married, never wanted babies but all of sudden it seemed like my heart was changing along with my mind. I said," Ok God everyone seems to think it's not normal to not want a family and I guess my mind is changing. I want to get married between 27 and 30 and I want a child. I don't want to get married before or after this time frame!" In my foolish young mind I demanded that God follow my timeline LOL... In my foolish young mind I sat and told God what I wanted while not realizing that he does what he wants, when he wants! I really didn't get the concept that with God there aren't any time limits or time lines and that his timing is so different from our "human" time.  I've never been an anxious person and even when I wasn't walking with God I know that he was walking with me because I lived by the scripture: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6 

I've never been an impatient person, I'm use to long suffering and even though at times I am a drama queen I've never been anxious. I was the girl who wasn't thinking about relationships 24/7 and I still am that girl, the one guys found hard to read because I'm not throwing myself at anyone or constantly looking for a relationship. I dated out of boredom in the past, I dated out of loneliness a lot and not for enjoyment. I dated because well that's what girls and women are suppose to do right? You're suppose to be thirsty and anxious to get married and have kids or something's wrong with you correct? I wasn't in a rush then and I'm not in a rush now because when it happens I need to be ready... I need to be comfortable within myself and sure about who I am. At 26 I've learned about who I am, I know more about myself and I'm much more comfortable in my skin but to say I've arrived would be a lie because none of us ever "ARRIVE" and I never want to be stuck in that mind frame of arriving. I recently began to understand where God wants me in ministry and I have a heart for young women, a passion for single women but I don't want the single life forever LOL! I have had the pleasure of getting to know myself before marriage and children, I've had the pleasure of getting to know who I am and what makes me TICK. 26 taught me more patience, 26 taught me long suffering and when I complain it prolongs the process... 26 taught me that I'm selfish at times, 26 taught me to shut up and pray! Most of all 26 taught me that time clocks, demands and time limits only cause us to find fault within ourselves. There's nothing wrong with getting married at 30, that's not getting married late... God has a set time and we've let society and people make us think that there is something wrong with not running down an aisle before 25. You're FINE and while you're waiting tell God exactly what it is that you need! Let him direct your path.

Until we meet again be blessed! 

❤️CDJ❤️