Secrets are something I'm too familiar with... Lies are something that cloud my past. I spent years wrapped up in secrets and lies, being someone else. I sat at my computer yesterday and begin thinking of some scary times in my life. There were moments that my disobedience could have been exposed in a heartbeat but even in my madness God was shielding, he was protecting. Moments where I was so alone and lost. Early 20's no type of worth about myself. I write freely now because my past is behind me. From depression to suicidal thoughts God shielded me, from self hatred to anger God delivered me, from pretending to be someone I wasn't to putting up a million fronts he changed me. You can't tell me he isn't real or doesn't exist because over the course of my life he protected my image even when I wasn't protecting it. He kept reaching for me when I was pushing him away!! God I'm so free! I don't know who I'd be or if I'd be here if God didn't feel like I was worth saving! I know he has an awesome plan for my life, he's gearing me up for my purpose and all I need is the green light. Patiently waiting yet being used by him which doesn't always feel good but I know I had to and have to go through some stuff in order for this next phase to take place.



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